Actually, you can start over whenever you want
a bad week, a pep talk, fantasy book recs, outdoor gear picks
I had a bad week. Not in a catastrophic, everything-went-wrong-and-my-life-is-over kind of way. More in a slow burn, I-make-a-series-of-small-mistakes-that-are-all-very-definitely-my-fault kind of way.
A week for crying over spilled milk.
I had a bad week in the way that works it’s way into your psyche and undercuts your confidence and sense of self. And then is amplified by the fact that nothing all that bad happened, so why is it getting to you this much.
Then I woke up with a sore throat. So it goes.
Actually, you can start over whenever you want.
It’s officially mid-January, which does in fact make me want to scream into the void, because I already feel like 2025 is leaving me behind!
Moreover, I think I’ve been increasingly upset by my bad week because it’s the beginning of 2025, and part of me feels like if the start of 2025 is bad, the rest of the year will be too. But that’s not true.
January first feels like a reset, some sort of cosmic calendar date, but the truth is you can start over anytime. Spring always feels fresh and new to me in a different way, winter more contiguous. Fall too, since it was always the start of a new school year, feels like a new year in my head.
Instead, I’m going to start over today, Sunday. I’m going to sweep the floor and clean the kitchen. I’m going to light a candle and put on an audiobook and paint for a while, and go for a walk. I’m going to take a really deep breath— and leave this week and all of my feelings where they lie.
All this to say, if you too are experiencing a rough start to 2025 it’s okay; we can start over whenever we want to.
feel-good paddling stories
Some of you may know that in addition to managing my own site, I also write for Paddling Magazine. Here are a couple of pieces I’ve written lately that are worth a read:
Combatting “Shrink It And Pink It”, a dive into why inclusive fit matters, and how one outdoor brand decided to take it a step further and quantify stories about women’s fit as date to prove inclusive fit matters.
How Teammwork Shaped a Solo Canoeing Record on the Wisconsin River, Meet the new Wisconsin River FKT holder, and hear about how the previous record holder helped him shatter his own record.
28-Year Old Circumnavigates Ireland by Sea Kayak, one of my favorite pieces I’ve worked on in a while, meet a super inspiring paddler who redefines the word “tough”.
I have a viral reel right now…
I spent about 20 minutes totally making this reel about what it’s like to live on Lake Superior in the winter and it got over half a million views in less than two days. I’ll be honest, that is pretty much never what I want. I always feel very watched, very exposed when there’s a sudden influx of eyes on my work, in my small little online community. It’s unnerving.
Honestly, the pile of fresh comments and direct messages every hour asking for winter vacation planning advice is contributing to my bad week— I feel anxious. I feel it in my neck and throat, do you know what I mean?
That said, I think what worked well about this reel is it that it a) began with an image with me in it, B) started out with a claim and a thesis statement (largest lake in the world + best time to visit in the winter) that let people know what to expect in the video C) was followed by supporting statements/videos that matched the audio and D) converted a lot of viewers to followers because it clearly tells you what to expect on my profile and a reason to follow me without actually saying “follow me”.
Basically, it functions as an uber-sort video essay. Bonus points for barely having a caption.
Fantasy Reading Recommendations…
Fantasy is trendy right know, but you know what? Popular things are popular for a reason and I’m having a lot of fun with it. My mom got me an audible subscription for Christmas and I’ve been spending a lot of time listening and knitting. I just finished reading A Fate Inked In Blood— will be reading the sequel, but I’d give it 7/10. Still better than the first Throne of Glass book.
I crowd sourced some book recommendations from social media, and here’s what everyone said (plus my own recommendations!):
Throne of Glass series: Though I did indeed just lead with TOG slander, I read this series over the course of the summer while guiding and after book three it gets really good. Plus I have all the positive association vibes of reading the books in a tent every night while guiding in the islands. I started at the beginning of the guiding season, and finished on my last overnight trip which felt extremely cosmic.
Bridge Kindgom series: 400 stars. Every book better than the last, and the first one was good. Ripped through it this December like my life depended on it. Will reread. Free with audible subscription. Also recommend on Instagram.
Paddling to Winter: not a fantasy, but recommend on Instagram. I’ve been meaning to read this one for a while; local Bayfield author and a canoeing story. It’s on the shelf behind me as we speak.
Sky in the Deep: Viking vibes, recommend on Instagram
Spark of the Everflame: recommend on Instagram 2x
Furyck Saga: recommend on Instagram, six books, two spin off series. Will be reading this one, like the cover.
The War of Lost Hearts series: recommend on Instagram, I just downloaded this one and started because it’s free with my audible subscription, which I do in fact love.
The House in the Cerulean Sea: recommend on Instagram
Crescent City Series: recommend on Instagram. Look I hear you. I know I would like it but they’re so long!!!!! Also I’ve already given Sarah J. Maas so much of my money (mostly a joke but also real)
The Queens Thief: recommend on Instagram.
North is the Night: recommend on Instagram. Finnish folklore-inspired.
The Poppy War: recommend on Instagram 3x
Quicksilver: recommend on Instagram 4x. I also feel like I would like this but I truly cannot get past the cover.
All the Murmuring Bones: recommend on Instagram. This, on the other had, has a very nice cover. Will check out for that reason alone. We unapologetically judge books by covers in this house.
Invisible Life of Addie LaRue: recommend on Instagram. This one is for sure on my list.
Emily Wilde books: recommend on Instagram.
Divine Rivals: recommended on Instagram. Idk man, the top review has an awful lot of emojis in it. (I’ll probably still read it)
One Dark Window: recommended on Instagram.
When the Moon Hatched: recommended on Instagram 3x
The Assassin’s Apprentice: recommended on Instagram.
Shatter Me series: recommended on Instagram.
Zodiac Academy series: “easy read. super cheesy”. recommended on Instagram.
Wolves of Mercy Falls: recommended on Instagram. Set in Ely, MN
Red Rising: recommended on Instagram.
Before the Devil Knows You’re Here & When Women Were Dragons: Wisconsin-based and in consideration for thatwisconsincouple’s new book club
Serpent and the Wings of Night: recommended on Instagram.
Name of the Wind: recommended on Instagram. “I don’t like fantasy but I LOVE that and its sequel”
Oh wow that turned into a project! Thanks for hanging in there :)
small business spotlight☀️🌲 sisu & loyly nordic sauna
One thing I’m going to start integrating into newsletters in 2025 is a section to highlight and celebrate more Midwest/Great Lakes based small businesses. I thought it’d be fun to start with Sisu and Loyly Lake Superior-side Nordic sauna in Grand Marais, Minnesota, which is my number one “Where is that!?” question on Instagram (ps that question is almost always answered in the caption!).
I actually worked at this gorgeous sauna when it first started back in 2021, and Katie, the owner, is truly one of the best people out there and was an incredible boss. The sauna itself is such a wonderful experience, with a historic fishing shack restored into a really incredible sauna experience. Definitely worth a visit :)
In the winter, I recommend headed out for some winter hiking or skiing, get all sweaty, then hit the sauna for a refresh.
I love this perspective. I just wrote about this today- I spent a year worrying and I recently decided that was long enough. I think we've been bogged down by enough bad habits that we forget we really can make a decision to change at any point. But I love the way you wrote it. Thanks for the vulnerability- still debating whether or not to go back on Instagram after a year off of it.