Sorry things didn't work out in the PNW, but with how you describe the culture maybe it's a good thing that the rest of society thinks the Midwest is flyover country. The beauty of the Midwest can be our little secret.
I appreciate these words so much. It's wild how different our experiences in the PNW have been, but I also love Minnesota - it's my homeland. I'm much happier here, and the rain and gray suit me much better than the bone-chilling cold. But I think it's so important to be honest and a bit vulnerable about experiencing new places. I remember having similar words for our time in New York City, but everything seemed to click once we hit the six-month mark. Moving is crazy difficult, and it's sometimes even harder when you don't have a support network. So happy for you and your upcoming move back to the Midwest. I can't wait to see more incredible pictures and stories from the north shore of MN.
Thanks so much Steph! Part of me definitely wonders if we'd have had different circumstances in the PNW (different town, different job, better apartment situation), things would've worked out better, but I also just think that the Midwest fits well on me. I'll definitely be back to the PNW to travel and paddle in the future, but I think for me the area is right as a spot to visit, not to live!
I love this essay Maddy. I deeply relate to idealizing a place and imagining that it will produce a fantasy version of me. Especially love the paragraphs about learning to accept Midwest Maddy. The Midwest will be happy to have you back!
This is such a beautiful, vulnerable essay. Catch me also romanticizing places and versions of myself in my head - very relatable! And I am also pretty attuned to notes of +/- blatant hostility from people so I am sorry you had to feel worried about that (I find myself over-concerned about that). Your note about inconveniencing people really makes me think!
As a Minnesota man who lived in other U.S. states, finding a pleasant person - who smiles, makes eye contact, greets you - is rare, unless they want you to buy something or join something. Glad you’re back in Minnesota. I’ll never live anywhere else.
Yep I totally feel this! I've also loved living in Northern Wisco and Michigan, very similar culture, but really there is nothing quite like the Minnesota warmth!
As someone who grew up in the PNW and recently moved out, I completely agree with your view. The area is absolutely beautiful. However, the culture is not friendly. They preach tolerance but don't show it. But, it's cool that you learned so much about yourself in the process!
portland's the easiest access to whitewater and trailrunning i've ever had, seattle seems like a big struggle. but not disagreeing with you. (i'm kind of agnostic to place). just sent your substack to an acquaintance who's moving to the midwest!
I've actually heard overwhelmingly positive things about Portland! We've been up in Bellingham (so north of Seattle) and on paper should've had some of the best access to the outdoors there is, but in practice the community was just so cold (and like, fully mean at times; obviously not everyone but definitely enough people that I was off put) that it just wasn't worth it.
Maddy this is so honest and wonderful and such a punch to my gut! I am from the UP, the Soo, which is not an accurate representation of how amazing the UP is, but growing up there, you just want to get out and it’s so horrible and cold and boring and awful and everyone knows everyone’s business. So I left with my boyfriend(now husband) a month after I graduated high school. I couldn’t get out fast enough! In 2020 we bought property in Munising and we are trying our damndest to get back to the UP. It’s so funny how life comes full circle. My family didn’t adventure outdoors so I never came to know the real UP until I was in my late 20s, but when I found it, I fell in love. And I think I’ve been fighting that love for years now. I always want bigger mountains, and taller rock climbs, and grander adventures so I keep dreaming of moving west. But you know, my heart is in the UP. Every time I have to leave I feel like part of me is being torn out. So I’ve decided it’s time to go back. For real. The west will always be there and I can always travel to visit. But my heart is in the UP and some times I think we just have to stop fighting what we feel we should do, or for a life we think we want, and just settle in to what my heart knows is right.
I’m happy you’ve found your right spot and are trying to hold on to contentment in Minnesota. Maybe I’ll see you on the trails(land and water) some day. I’ve been wanting to dabble in sea kayaking! You’ve definitely piqued my interest!
Oh wow yes yes yes! I love this so much! The UP is the perfect place to have your heart to be honest ❤️ Wishing you all the best luck in headed back up there!
If you want to dabble in sea kayaking, I'm running two women's beginner friendly overnight kayaking trips this summer-- they were a blast last summer and mostly solo travelers, age range 16- 65 group of 12 with two guides! Shoot me an email at hello [at] madelinemarquardt.com and I can send you more info if you want!
I’m from Kentucky, born and raised. I worked in Illinois for 2 1/2 years before moving out to the PNW roughly about 3 months ago. I’ve been going back and forth in my head about this exact situation. I had this idea built up in my head about how the PNW will magically change me and my life will get better once I got here.
Newsflash to me: it didn’t. Immediately upon landing and unpacking my apartment, I cried the entire time and wished I was back in my apartment in Illinois with my friends who love me and my family and more friends who’s only a few hours away.
I’ve been debating the last few weeks about moving home sooner rather than later and went down a slight rabbit hole tonight about this, and I came across an excerpt for this on Instagram and IMMEDIATELY ran to your website to read the entire article.
I’ve never had an experience so validating in my life and I overall what to thank you IMMENSELY for sharing your experience and giving a voice to what I’ve been feeling pretty much since I unpacked.
This is what I needed and a final push to be okay with moving home because like you said, midwestern/southern me is good enough
I found your post profoundly insightful. The way you explore the concept of presence and mindfulness resonates deeply, especially in our fast-paced world. Your anecdotes and reflections on finding peace and meaning in the present moment were both inspiring and grounding.
As someone who works with <a href="https://www.richlandsiding.com/">stucco</a> in home improvement, I often find myself caught up in the hustle of projects and deadlines. Your piece reminded me of the importance of pausing and appreciating the process, not just the outcome.
Could you share any specific techniques or practices you use to stay mindful and present during busy or stressful times? I would love to apply these principles to my work and daily life.
I think the most important part *IS* to experience new places. I didn't have time to build up the Lake Tahoe area in my mind before I moved here because the decision to move from Virginia was pretty impromptu. I LOVE it here, but my partner wants to move to Bellingham. By the time that happens I'll probably have lived in Nevada for 10 years so I'll be okay with the change. As you learned, you can always move back, wiser for the experience.
Such an honest post! As someone who grew up in the PNW and went to college in Bellingham years ago, I think the PNW you dreamed up did exist maybe 10 years ago but things have changed so much. I hope you find joy + contentment in the new year in the midwest!
Sorry things didn't work out in the PNW, but with how you describe the culture maybe it's a good thing that the rest of society thinks the Midwest is flyover country. The beauty of the Midwest can be our little secret.
Thank you for your lovely note! I'm definitely happy with keeping the Midwest full of friendly folks🥰
I appreciate these words so much. It's wild how different our experiences in the PNW have been, but I also love Minnesota - it's my homeland. I'm much happier here, and the rain and gray suit me much better than the bone-chilling cold. But I think it's so important to be honest and a bit vulnerable about experiencing new places. I remember having similar words for our time in New York City, but everything seemed to click once we hit the six-month mark. Moving is crazy difficult, and it's sometimes even harder when you don't have a support network. So happy for you and your upcoming move back to the Midwest. I can't wait to see more incredible pictures and stories from the north shore of MN.
Thanks so much Steph! Part of me definitely wonders if we'd have had different circumstances in the PNW (different town, different job, better apartment situation), things would've worked out better, but I also just think that the Midwest fits well on me. I'll definitely be back to the PNW to travel and paddle in the future, but I think for me the area is right as a spot to visit, not to live!
I love this essay Maddy. I deeply relate to idealizing a place and imagining that it will produce a fantasy version of me. Especially love the paragraphs about learning to accept Midwest Maddy. The Midwest will be happy to have you back!
Thanks so much Emily! I'll be very happy to be back!
This is such a beautiful, vulnerable essay. Catch me also romanticizing places and versions of myself in my head - very relatable! And I am also pretty attuned to notes of +/- blatant hostility from people so I am sorry you had to feel worried about that (I find myself over-concerned about that). Your note about inconveniencing people really makes me think!
Thanks so much for reading Emma!
As a Minnesota man who lived in other U.S. states, finding a pleasant person - who smiles, makes eye contact, greets you - is rare, unless they want you to buy something or join something. Glad you’re back in Minnesota. I’ll never live anywhere else.
Yep I totally feel this! I've also loved living in Northern Wisco and Michigan, very similar culture, but really there is nothing quite like the Minnesota warmth!
As someone who grew up in the PNW and recently moved out, I completely agree with your view. The area is absolutely beautiful. However, the culture is not friendly. They preach tolerance but don't show it. But, it's cool that you learned so much about yourself in the process!
The preaching tolerance but not showing it was definitely one of the things that really bothered me about the area! Thanks so much for reading!
portland's the easiest access to whitewater and trailrunning i've ever had, seattle seems like a big struggle. but not disagreeing with you. (i'm kind of agnostic to place). just sent your substack to an acquaintance who's moving to the midwest!
I've actually heard overwhelmingly positive things about Portland! We've been up in Bellingham (so north of Seattle) and on paper should've had some of the best access to the outdoors there is, but in practice the community was just so cold (and like, fully mean at times; obviously not everyone but definitely enough people that I was off put) that it just wasn't worth it.
Maddy this is so honest and wonderful and such a punch to my gut! I am from the UP, the Soo, which is not an accurate representation of how amazing the UP is, but growing up there, you just want to get out and it’s so horrible and cold and boring and awful and everyone knows everyone’s business. So I left with my boyfriend(now husband) a month after I graduated high school. I couldn’t get out fast enough! In 2020 we bought property in Munising and we are trying our damndest to get back to the UP. It’s so funny how life comes full circle. My family didn’t adventure outdoors so I never came to know the real UP until I was in my late 20s, but when I found it, I fell in love. And I think I’ve been fighting that love for years now. I always want bigger mountains, and taller rock climbs, and grander adventures so I keep dreaming of moving west. But you know, my heart is in the UP. Every time I have to leave I feel like part of me is being torn out. So I’ve decided it’s time to go back. For real. The west will always be there and I can always travel to visit. But my heart is in the UP and some times I think we just have to stop fighting what we feel we should do, or for a life we think we want, and just settle in to what my heart knows is right.
I’m happy you’ve found your right spot and are trying to hold on to contentment in Minnesota. Maybe I’ll see you on the trails(land and water) some day. I’ve been wanting to dabble in sea kayaking! You’ve definitely piqued my interest!
Oh wow yes yes yes! I love this so much! The UP is the perfect place to have your heart to be honest ❤️ Wishing you all the best luck in headed back up there!
If you want to dabble in sea kayaking, I'm running two women's beginner friendly overnight kayaking trips this summer-- they were a blast last summer and mostly solo travelers, age range 16- 65 group of 12 with two guides! Shoot me an email at hello [at] madelinemarquardt.com and I can send you more info if you want!
I’m from Kentucky, born and raised. I worked in Illinois for 2 1/2 years before moving out to the PNW roughly about 3 months ago. I’ve been going back and forth in my head about this exact situation. I had this idea built up in my head about how the PNW will magically change me and my life will get better once I got here.
Newsflash to me: it didn’t. Immediately upon landing and unpacking my apartment, I cried the entire time and wished I was back in my apartment in Illinois with my friends who love me and my family and more friends who’s only a few hours away.
I’ve been debating the last few weeks about moving home sooner rather than later and went down a slight rabbit hole tonight about this, and I came across an excerpt for this on Instagram and IMMEDIATELY ran to your website to read the entire article.
I’ve never had an experience so validating in my life and I overall what to thank you IMMENSELY for sharing your experience and giving a voice to what I’ve been feeling pretty much since I unpacked.
This is what I needed and a final push to be okay with moving home because like you said, midwestern/southern me is good enough
I found your post profoundly insightful. The way you explore the concept of presence and mindfulness resonates deeply, especially in our fast-paced world. Your anecdotes and reflections on finding peace and meaning in the present moment were both inspiring and grounding.
As someone who works with <a href="https://www.richlandsiding.com/">stucco</a> in home improvement, I often find myself caught up in the hustle of projects and deadlines. Your piece reminded me of the importance of pausing and appreciating the process, not just the outcome.
Could you share any specific techniques or practices you use to stay mindful and present during busy or stressful times? I would love to apply these principles to my work and daily life.
I think the most important part *IS* to experience new places. I didn't have time to build up the Lake Tahoe area in my mind before I moved here because the decision to move from Virginia was pretty impromptu. I LOVE it here, but my partner wants to move to Bellingham. By the time that happens I'll probably have lived in Nevada for 10 years so I'll be okay with the change. As you learned, you can always move back, wiser for the experience.
Such an honest post! As someone who grew up in the PNW and went to college in Bellingham years ago, I think the PNW you dreamed up did exist maybe 10 years ago but things have changed so much. I hope you find joy + contentment in the new year in the midwest!